If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
