its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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