He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
