I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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