It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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