So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize