Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
