i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
