I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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