I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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