when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
