so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
