weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
