So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
