it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
