well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
