Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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