Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.