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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.

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• (760): View more from California

  I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out

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• (516): View more from New York

  so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...

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