I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
