is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??