Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
