you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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