I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
