Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize