FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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