I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
