The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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