i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
