My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just sent this text using only my big toe
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
