Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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