my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's blow job season.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
