I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
