I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
