Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
