Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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