what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
