Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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