Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
