Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The beer is more important than you right now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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