Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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