I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
