My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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