i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
