We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
