remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize