Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
