Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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