she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
