I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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