my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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