Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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