Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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