Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
