I wish I could teleport
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
