What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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