The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
