I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize