After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
