I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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