Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
