No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
bring money and cleavage
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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