What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
