She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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